Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Made-Up Titles for Books We Would Like to Write (or Read): A Collective List


Orchid, Orchid, Where Have you Been?

The Missing Glove

The Bird Nest Occupants

The Junk Mail Mystery

The Right Shoe That Ran Away Without the Left

The Definitive History of Edible Bugs 

The Fictional Dream Sequence

The Sensual Minimalist

Persnickety Cats of Eastern Europe

Going to the Grocery: A Travelogue

What to Pack for the End of the World

The Devil Wore Nothing

Elephant-Bite Safari: A  Love Story

How to Tell it Like it Really Is

Wean Yourself From the Soaps in Only 60 Steps!

Lessons for Liars

Even You Can Do This

Comment and Counter-Comment: How to Make Meaningful Conversation

Hand Signals You Want to Use: Described and Illustrated

Your Future: A Sneak Preview

Unearthing the Earthworm

How to Train Your Puppy to Never Chew Anything He's Not Supposed to, Ever 

Why All of This Happened

1,001 Things To Do When You're Avoiding Apologizing

How To Be The Mother You Wish You'd Had (Without Becoming A Nut About It)

How To Not Hoard Stuff You Took Out of Other People's Trash (Or: The Art of Saying No)

When Stickers Lose Their Stick: A Story About Becoming Unhinged

Memoirs of a Kitchen Cabinet

Falling in Your Soup: Screw-ups Can Be Awesome

How To Become a Gnome

The Zen of Homeschooling

The Woman Who Wanted to Be a Pegasus (And Got Her Wish)

Memories of Mint Tea

Three Days in Madrid

Chicken Soup for the Sick

Bargains

Camels and Caravans

Fishing for Color:  Size Doesn't Matter

Both Sides of the Atlantic

5 Sets of Keys

The Curry Cure

Roses Under the Window

The Thirteenth Month

Twenty One Hikes in the High Atlas

Mrs. Craven's Raven

Yes, It Is My Bunny

JJ Journeys to Jaipur

Tussy and Fussy: The Further Adventures of a Pair of Old Ballet Slippers (The Brooklyn Years)

Teddy Perplexy Unravels His Dreams

Sal, the Lost Pumpkin

Aunt Mathilda's Mysterious Disappearing Nightgown

Dressing to Please Myself

I Was at a Loss: The Polite Person's Guide to Living in a Tacky World

She Said What? Handling Others' Social Bloopers

The Advantages of Being Your Own Boss

Rules for Eating Cakes

Love Potions that Probably Work

Love Potions to Stay Away From

The Fairy Godmother From Hell

Relief for Fungi Allergies for Fairies

The Best Vampire Hunting Guide: Keep Your Skin

Almost Home

Forgive . . . But Never Forget

Revenge

"High" Above Cayuga's Waters: A Guide to Growing Marijuana in the Finger Lakes

Never on Time

If

Lost in Alphabet City

Melon Dreams

Word Search Haiku

Things to Make You Frown

Living by the Numbers

101 Eyebrow Styles

Dressing for the Apocalypse/Rapture

Crone Talk: Advice for the 50s and Beyond

Petroglyphs on the Canyon Wall

Teetering on the Edge of Kachina Woman

Dizzy at the Grand Canyon

Leaning In, So As Not to Fall Off

Breathing Heights and Edges

The Stillness of Dogs

The Shoes of Ease

Now What Do We Do?

The Moon Ran, Too

The Book that Never Ends

This Book is About You — Yes You, the Fifty Eight Year Old Woman With the Reading Glasses Around Your Neck!

The Ruined Book

Cameras and Microphones Behind Closed Doors

Hopscotch, Shooting Marbles, and Jumping Rope Back To Childhood

What the Tooth Fairy Does With All the Teeth

Where Lost Items Can Be Found

How To Barbecue Popcorn

The Dancing Stars

Pine Needles and Honeycombs: A New Way to Cure a Cold

Mini and the Water Nymph: The Mysterious Water Drop

The Summer of Grass Stains and Dancing Shoes

Now Social: A Way of Filling Up Your Calendar With Events

The Crying of the Flower Pots

The Elusive Thought That Could Have Changed His Life

Blending Two Lipsticks: Re-defining Creativity as a New Mom

The Art of Negotiating: Kumbaya is Not a Dirty Word


THANK YOU to all these contributors:
Barbara Cartwright
Barbara Force
Barbara West
Diana Kreutzer
Gwen Glazer
Julia Grace Rosoff
Kathleen Halton
Laura Joy
Laura LaRosa
Linda Keeler
Maggie Goldsmith
Maryam Steele
Maude Rith
Mo Owens
Rachel J. Siegel
Roxanne VanWormer
Vivian Relta
Zee Zahava