I am always afraid I will forget
to water the plants
to feed the cat who never lets me forget
to be on time
when to pay the bills
that it's time to begin the next project
that it has to be finished in nick's own time or the world will end
the hour and minute each child was born
how to bake bread without a recipe
what the sun means to me
how to get to Brooklyn
to buy those shoes I wanted on payday
to remember who to give what to
to set up my out-of-office message
to buy toilet paper before I run out
to take my pills each day
to pack a lunch for my son
that this year I won't be invited to that annual party I hate to go to
that color is my mojo
to take my cell phone, keys, wallet, and iPod
to renew my library books on time
to listen to This American Life on Sunday at noon
what it's like to be a child
to fast the morning of my cholesterol test
that it's Monday
But I never do.
I try never to forget
that I want to stand up more than sit down
that I love to dance
that I've decided not to get so mad about things I can't control
that I'm not an extrovert
my resolve
that I don't actually care how much I weigh
that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do including going to that party
to pack a lunch for myself
that what I love to do is more important than the stuff I do instead
that my children love me more than I can fathom even now that they're all grown up
to just be myself
that once upon a time I was passionate about clay
to floss
the good things that happen
that she told me "no" lives in the land of "yes"
what I already know
that I have given away more than I've kept
to take myself less seriously
to take you less seriously
that I'm not always in a knowing place
that I love solitude
that from me came these . . . and these
to go to bed at a reasonable hour
why that person is just the sort of person I really shouldn't open my most vulnerable self to
But I always do.
